Mental Health Awareness Week – Together we can tackle loneliness

Loneliness is something we all feel at different times in our lives and, if experienced long-term, can have serious effects on our mental health. The pandemic, when our connections with friends, family and colleagues were disrupted, meant more of us experienced these feelings than ever before.

Dr Jayne Taylor, our lead consultant clinical psychologist for adults, shares some practical advice about how to prevent the feelings of loneliness and how to help others.

What causes the feelings of loneliness?

Loneliness is a sense of feeling disconnected from others. You can be with others socially and still feel lonely because you may not feel connected to the people around you. This is why loneliness is different from being alone – we may be quite content during periods in which we are alone, we may even seek those periods of time out as a way of restoring our energy or giving us space to reflect. This is not the same as loneliness which is unwanted.

Is loneliness a mental health problem?

It is important to say that most of us feel lonely at times but when it is protracted and causes distress, this is when it can become problematic. And we know it can be associated with problems such as anxiety and low mood.

What are the side effects of loneliness?

It impacts our mood and can also affect our confidence and the way that we see ourselves, particularly if we find that we compare ourselves to others. Also, for many of us, our relationships are one of the important things that sustain us, so loneliness can also affect our resilience to life’s challenges. It is important to remember though that there’s lots that we can do address loneliness.

What can we do to prevent those feelings of loneliness?

Firstly, continuing to really invest in those relationships that are important to us. Life may be busy and it is easy for us to prioritise other things. But managing our relationships is a very active process. Book that meet up or phone call and commit to it. This helps keep our relationships and connections on track.

Also, as we go through different stages in life, it is quite normal for relationships to change and for us to gain and lose friendships. It’s a natural process as we go through life because what we need from relationships changes.

If you recognise that other people are feeling lonely, what can you do to help and support them?

It's about including people. We know some people might find it harder to ask to join things - so, it's about being mindful of those people that perhaps you need to reach out to. It’s about recognising that and being as inclusive as possible. But, understand that people with vary in the amount of contact they need and want. So don’t make assumptions and be guided by them. Different things work for different people. There are also lots of online forums that might be a useful first step in supporting people to start to gradually make those connections.
 

If you are feeling lonely what can you do?

Firstly, many of us feel lonely at times, particularly after significant life events like a relationship break down, a bereavement or move to a new area. Reminding ourselves of this can be helpful.

Also, identify the things that interest you - there’s lots of spaces and groups available for people to join which are around shared interests and this can be a really effective way of connecting with people. Sometimes people find it easier at first to join online groups.

Think of the ways you can build connections back into your daily life. For example, shopping locally in the same places, walking regularly in your local park or outside space, saying hello to your neighbours, - these can all help you feel more anchored to a community. Volunteering is also a great way to meet new people and feel part of a cause or community.

There are lots of links on the Mind website that could be helpful such as befriending or volunteering.

The important thing is not to feel you have to be alone with loneliness.

And if you find it difficult to do these things or are concerned about the impact loneliness is having on you, such as on your mood or anxiety, then psychological therapies are available and can be accessed through our Healthy Minds services.